Laziest dinner ever. mushroom pizza

1. Wash a Portabella mushroom
2. You know that partial container of spaghetti sauce in the back of the fridge?
Check for ick and if not icky pour a few tb in the mushroom cavity
3. fill cavity with other tasty noms and top with cheese if desired. Put on a cookie sheet.
4.bake 10-15 minutes at 400 degrees or on a grill
5.You will need a knife and fork.Eat with salad....If you have the energy, otherwise just grab the carrot sticks.

Hairspray...gel or mousse

I feel stupid about spending money on hairspray and even worse about what might be in it. Also, it's expensive and I have the ingredients at home anyway. And after spring hits I don't want to keep using hand cream as hair product as heat does it no favors.

Ok ...it's not hairSPRAY, exactly. It's thin gel stuff to be dabbed at cowlicks and to rub between palms and smoothed over hair before styling so that hair will not be disobedient. Unless you have an old foaming soap handwash dispenser in which case It really, really is mousse. Unfortunately It breaks hairspray nozzles after a mere 4-5 squirts. And it's cheap and easy to make and works well.

Stuff you need

You will need a clean reused foaming hand soap container, or squirt pump container, or tub

3 tb flax seeds

1 cup boiling water

2 oz of rosewater or boiled tap water

10 drops essential oil , in this case lavender for me (works as preservative)

1 tb castor oil, or vitamin e oil (works as preservative)

1 fine sieve

one bowl or cup

spoons
optional tsp vodka (preservative)

For mousse or gel spray

1. Make flax egg replacer gel (can be used in baking!) by adding 1 cup boiling water and allow to sit until gel is gel-ly 5-10 minutes.

2. Force the flax goo through a sieve (not necessary when baking) using a spoon in a circular motion. Allow to cool.

3. Water down the goo with rosewater (mm smells pretty) or boiled water. Stir

4. Add oils/ vodka. Stir some more.

5. Pour in container and use.Label. It should be good for 3 weeks. If it starts smelling bad pour it out. Shake before use.

For regular gel

Skip step three and follow other direction. Pour end product in a tightly lidded glass tub such as cream lotion arrives in.

Henna...don't eat this

I've been dying my hair red with plants for 14 1/2 of the last 15 years. That 1/2 year comes from buzzcut numbers 3 & 4. In reality under the tannins I have what is often called Irish Brown. I have white blond streaks in the front dark brown in the under coat and honey blond on top and red bits scattered about. I have dark blonde frosted nightmare naturally. That and my affinity for certain fire deities led me to dyeing my hair copper red. If you do not want copper but rather dark brown, black or just gloss you can get this using the same method with different planty dyes. I tried light mountain first and while I was pleased with it at the time I now consider the stuff to be mostly straw, more expensive and fiddly. Body quality henna is frequently as cheap or cheaper and doesn't need to be strained as the grind is finer. To make it work I heard about terping oils, yogurt etc. These are not necessary and might lead to unpleasant rashes and drain clogging issues. Yogurt does make hair soft but it also makes henna harder to rinse out. I moved on to mixing in Dulhan body quality henna (available at most Desi markets for 2-3$) with neutral henna and hibiscus to add the purply color I like. And then the place I got it stopped carrying. The guy said this other brand might work. It's Godrej Nupur and is available online and in almost every Desi grocery store I've ever been to. There were a ton of other herbs...but there wasn't other stuff in there so I tried it and ended up liking it so much that I now buy it in 500g sacks (9.50$) and use about 1/4 bag every month to dye my mid back length hair. If you don't like purpley hair I don't recommend it.

Ingredient guide

Henna Lawsonia is red henna

Dried aloe is a conditioner

Neem is an antifungal (dandruff prevention) and shine increaser

Methi is fenugreek seed and prevents fungal infection and shines hair.

Indigo makes hair dark brown or black.

Amla makes hair darker and shiny

Cassia obviata is neutral henna

Hibiscus is astringent and reddens hair more and tends to make it softer

Cider Vinegar- If you like brassier hair or dislike the smell of henna (I am fond of it but we are all different) mix in 3 tb to cut smell.

You could grate in 2 tb coconut oil or cocoa butter

Never buy dyes with non herbal components or herbs you haven't researched. They may be toxic. Lots of recipes abound here for other color mixes and good organic dye sources. I can't really afford them right now but this place is an awesome resource.:

http://www.hennaforhair.com/mixes/index.html

1.Mix all dry ingredients. Mix to a thin pudding / thick yogurt texture with boiling water in a glass or other non metal container (the tannins can turn your hair green when mixed in aluminum and rust iron so don't risk it). This amount of water will differ dependent on the humidity in your home, mix in a bit to begin with and then stir using your trusty mixing chopstick (mine is a red lacquered child's chopstick with monkeys on it whose mate went missing years ago.)It is better to use too little water than too much as you can add more later if needed.

2. Now wait at least 2 hours. This allows the dye to release. Don't wait more than a day or so as the dye may mold and loses it's potency after about 2 days. An old plastic sherbet tub or big mason jar is ideal if living with accident prone people like me, because it has a cover. Your hair should be relatively clean but not freshly washed.

3. Read instructions 2x. then gather your stuff together. This helps to prevent dye based calamity. Remove all clothing you do not wish to ruin,children, and pets from immediate vicinity. Also,no ( maybe more if refrigerated) joke, do a small section test, particularly if using the henna on skin, avoid facial and mucous membrane skin. Not a good idea. Some people do have allergies and they are unpleasant and may blister. I am not an herbalist or doctor as you know, but there are basic safety precautions. Have washcloths you are okay with staining brown-orange or moist towelettes handy. If you wear gloves put them on. If you spatter on the wall or floor wipe away immediately with your damp wash clothes. Matte paint usually stains immediately so try to avoid this, tile and vinyl floors usually take a few minutes to stain. If you are particularly messy , apply in the shower.

4. Apply to roots first and down to ends. Apply heavily enough that you can sculpt your hair into a kewpie twist or other amusing sculpture. Rub well into hairline as oil , which protects against dye collects there. Use a plastic grocery bag to contain you hair and tie at the front. Now do another facing opposite direction and then a third facing front wards. Wash all flecks spattered off your skin immediately. If you have been stained any where that is not callused, oil or rubbing alcohol will remove it, if not you will be light orange there for awhile. Put on clothes you won't care about ruining in case you see spillage.

5. Note: Indigo is different , if you use a lot (as in dying hair black) and leave it one a long time it can hurt your hair. Read the indigo instructions on hennaforhair.com. Depending on how red you want your hair to be you can leave it on from one hour to my preferred overnight 6-7 hours. 2 hours is average. If you sleep in it make sure to put down an old towel. Or use a dark brown pillow case like I do. Or both.

6. Sqwish any excess henna you can into one of your plastic bags and wrap carefully in other plastic bags.

7. Scoop all your hair away from your face. This helps to prevent runnels of dye going into your eyes. Ow.

8. Using very warm water and using your hands as you would to lather shampoo helps to remove the dye quicker. Give yourself 20 minutes for the rinsing process at least. At first the dye will be black green and will turn bright orange. When you get to light orange water, shampoo your hair as normal (I use goat soap or another bar). Finish rinsing the rest of the way as you shower and let the hair water run clear before resuming normal life. Before exiting the shower wipe down any henna water soaked areas of the shower and squeeze hair to remove excess water. Baths will be orange tinted for a few days as excess dye leaks out. Do not condition your hair as this will prevent your henna from oxidizing and you will look like Lucille Ball.

9. Wait three days before you decide whether or not you like your new hair. It will darken and mellow due to oxidation. Then people may start to stop you in the street to tell you about how pretty your hair is. Really, this happens.

10. Depending on your hair growth rate you will need to re-dye every 3-6 weeks. Henna Lawsonia (not Cassia Obviata) and Indigo are permanent dyes but they fade somewhat over time. To remove completely you will either need to dye the hair a darker color , let if grow out or cut it off. For those of us with mixed color Light brown,blonde, brown, red hair we can go a bit longer as the roots are harder to see but after a while it becomes obvious.